Have a laugh

I've been waiting for this for about three-and-a-half-months. The laugh. Granted at the moment she sounds like a cross between a pterodactyl battling a Sasquatch and an 80-year-old coal miner but it's still the most beautiful sound I've ever heard.

Happy Saturday!

Laugh Test #1: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H_vwBRbgKvw

Laugh Test #2: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7vUIye5Prko

Photo Phriday

Just a quick update to post a few photos from my cell phone that required far too much effort to actually get here than I'd care to recall to relate.

I might be totally off but I think Sloane looks pretty much exactly like this baby. I'm awaiting my royalty check, Pampers. 

Sloane clone.

Taken by aunt Alyse in the hospital the day she was born (Sloane, not Alyse. That would've been some trick).

Sloane in a cute hat. Or cute Sloane in a hat? Cute dad holding cute Sloane in a cute hat? Yeah, that's pushing it. 

Family

Taken by grandpa & grandma.

Aunt Alyse (very patriotic)

Smiley videos

Fun smiley bath time (don't worry, it's of Sloane): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fg287vQSJso

Bonus Kelly-sounding-like-a-tired-idiot-trying-to-keep-Sloane-"talking"-by-speaking-jibberish: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jObT1uOeuEI

Remember, remember the 22nd of November

No, I'm not starting a revolution a la "V for Vendetta." Actually, that'd be pretty fun. Who's with me? I suppose we'd need to find a cause first. We'll iron that out later. Let's just get angry and make signs. I'll dress up Sloane to look like General Custer and get her a small sword. Any excuse to put a sword in her hands, really. We're not going to be here forever. It's high time she learn to defend herself.

Where was I? Oh yes. The 22nd of November. That's the date when I begin my new job at the Integer Group in Des Moines! We're super excited. It's bittersweet, though, to leave friends here. However we'll be about 3 hours closer to my parents and, depending on where we find a house (anybody giving away free houses in the Des Moines area?), within 30 minutes or so of the Weishaars. Jess will be able to get out of her contract in Cherokee, however not until the end of December. Not looking forward to being without my girls for three weeks. Lord only knows the shenanigans they'll get into without me. My guess is it'll be lots of movies starring Brad Pitt and Harry Connick Jr.

My last day at BV is November 17. After that I plan on taking a four-day weekend to soak up as much Jess/Sloane time I can before leaving to move in temporarily with Steve/Kate/Lea Sand in Altoona (thanks guys!). It'll be fun to room with Steve again (former college roommate). He informs me that he sleeps on the right side of the bed (I'm a left-side guy), so this should work out great. Kate either gets the middle or the couch. We haven't decided yet. I suppose it depends on how much she squirms.

Since I last updated the blog we had grandma and grandpa Van De Walle over from Arkansas. We had plenty of pictures of Sloane with grandma. Grandpa made chili.  We were all waiting with anticipation at Sloane to "jettison some excess waste" (to put it in astronaut terms), as she recently has gone through multiple 4-5 days of nothing but wet diapers. It was my hope that one look at grandpa would scare the crap out of her. It took repeated exposure to him, but she finally got it done. Who would've thought I'd one day be hoping for baby poop.

Baby skill update:

-Neck strength continues to build. She's much more graceful now, though still gives up frequently, which results in random headbutts. We watched the movie Willow today and I'm pretty sure Sloane could take him, or at the very least knock that little guy unconscious.

-She can stand up (sorta) with some bracing. Doesn't have the hang of balance yet (it's seriously not that hard), but will straighten her legs out when vertical. It's fun until she gives up and starts whining (lame).

-Focus: She's doing a great job of focusing (with her eyes, not like being able to move things with her mind. She's much too young for that yet). We have this trippy psychedelic light wand thing that she will follow with her eyes all over the place. Grandma says that's very good, so I think I should get a sticker or something. However she enjoys looking above my eyes when we're face-to-face, making me think that either A) I have something on my forehead or B) that something much cooler is going on behind me.

-My "Macho Man" Cradle (one of my three "baby holds" that I name after 80s professional wrestlers) is becoming less and less popular. She wants to see out more now (why she doesn't want to just stare at dad all day is confusing), so I've been relegated to the "Jake the Snake" Neck Prop more frequently. It's considerably less comfortable, so it makes sense.

-Lots more smiles, particularly in the mornings. I just had about a two-minute conversation with her in her swing. I have no idea what we were talking about or who made less sense, but she sounded considerably cuter than I did. Jess snuck over during our private conversation (impolite) and recorded me sounding like an idiot. She'll probably make me post it to get back at me. So look for that soon.

-Sleeping: Sloane now has the ability to sleep from about 9-6, though doesn't always choose to. She had gone about 16 days straight sleeping through the night until this week. We love her. On a related note, apparently she needs to be fed at 6:00. If there's one thing we've learned loud and clear, it's this.

Musings:

I wonder how Sloane is going to react to daylight savings time. I tried to explain it to her but she just zoned out. I would too, I suppose. It's not that interesting. But she needs to know in order to correctly re-set her watch.


Now for some photos!

Grandma checking Sloane's motor skills. She's passing with flying colors.  

I'm like Santa. Everyone wants to sit in my lap.

Cheeks are getting chubbier. I checked with Jess and apparently she doesn't have a "light" milk option. 

"Do you like my combover?" This might be one of my favorite pics of her. Photo credit goes to Jess.

As always, more photos on our flickr: http://www.flickr.com/photos/castle_vandewalle/

Get fit with Sloane

Video: Get Fit with Sloane 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hcIhyWO6m_A

She's getting too strong. I'm afraid she might soon overtake me. I gotta stop feeding her protein. However until she learns to take criticism about her technique she won't maximize her potential. It's 70% mental. The other half is physical. 

Sloane's core workout:

Step 1: Do four-and-a-half sit-ups

Step 2: Start crying

Step 3: Eat for an hour

Step 4: Pass out

Bonus smiley video!

Jess took some great video a couple of weeks ago but I've been having a heck of a time trying to upload it here. As such, it's been loaded to YouTube and can be viewed here.

Jess says please ignore the annoying voice. She was having too much fun and got excited.

Orcharding

Not too much to report here, other than to share a few photos. Today (Saturday) we decided was a fine day to go to the Cherokee apple "orchard." "Orchard" is being rather kind to the approximately six sad trees that were so depressed at where they were they just gave up and dropped all their apples on the ground long ago. Instead of picking them from the trees ourselves in a fun family activity, they  were instead boxed up for us from a closet of some kind. This combined the excitement of waiting with the ambiance of cigarette smoke and dead flies.

Note: 1 bushel = a lot of freaking apples (actual conversion).


I hope all you people enjoy apples because that's what you're getting for Christmas. And your birthday. For the next 12 years.

Orchard girls. 

The eight minutes we spent here was incredibly exciting. 

Other photos

Baby Conan?

Pay no attention to the baby. Instead focus on the flowers on the right side that Jess' wonderful husband bought her because he's romantic and junk.

She always looks at mom like this. Unfairsauce.

Sloane helping mom get ready for school, giving her an early look at indecisiveness and the melodrama that is "I don't have any clothes!" as she sits amongst a bed full of what appear to be clothes. 

Some more "firsts"

Well, if you'e been following this blog (and why wouldn't you be?), you'll know that this past Thursday was the dreaded BS Day (BabySitter Day). Sloane was so excited about it she decided to get up early several times before morning! The final time was around 5, and mom got up to feed her breakfast. Once again, it was milk. You'd think on such a special day she would get something different. Of course, I didn't monitor this feeding, so it's possible she received chocolate milk or Cinnamon Toast Crunch instead. I don't really know how women's bodies work, though I don't think it's like a continental-breakfast-cereal-dispenser type of deal.

Mom got Sloane looking very cute (though she could wear overalls or a suit of armor and she'd still be ridiculously cute). It was hard to say goodbye but Jess said the day went by really fast. Our babysitter (Nichol) is just awesome. She gave us a report and Sloane was awesome (she must take after her father). She's been the star of day care and has made a lot of new friends (though I still don't see what she brings to the relationship, other than being very snuggly). I was introduced to a few of the other day care children. A very talkative bunch. I don't remember any of their names, so I'm just calling everyone a different Transformer name. Jess said the day wasn't easy and was very excited to come home. Needless to say Sloane and I were happy to have her back.

Today (Saturday) we were privileged to have a full house of family. Grandma and Grandpa Weishaar came up along with Great Aunt Pat, Great Grandma McCain and Great Aunt Carol, the latter three all the way from Colorado. Thanks to them for making the journey to Cherokee!

Not long ago we also had our first professional family photos taken by one of my talented colleagues. They turned out great. I'll be posting them as soon as they are returned (though we may have to save one to surprise everyone at Christmas). This was a fun experience (save for the bugs). I must admit it is difficult to balance about an hour of "good sunlight" with a baby that may or may not be hungry & sleepy and generally doesn't respond well to directions (is it that hard to smile on command? I mean, come on.). On top of this it was a nice day with little wind, meaning the bugs were out in full force. Jennifer the Photographer did a great job. We loved the locations! Even though we did have to hike down a ditch, over a barbed-wire fence and try to remain motionless next to a cornfield with bugs swarming around. We also didn't see Shoeless Joe anywhere. I was very disappointed.

Okay, enough blabbering. You just want some photos.

Looking spiffy on her way to the babysitter. It's not good when your baby dresses better than you do. I can't fit into any of her clothes either. Yes, I've tried.

First day at the sitter's/Jess back-to-school

Four generations of McCains: Jackie, Kay, Jessie, Sloane

My new "hold." No, I don't know what I'm doing but she likes it so hush.

Sloane likes to pose when she sleeps. 

It was a long day. 

Sloane is 2 months old

It's hard to believe just two months ago Sloane was still inside Jess and I was all "Oh, it's probably nothing. But being the hero and medical professional we both know I am, why don't you call the hospital and have them tell you there's nothing to be concerned about so you can put your mind at ease. Stop, Jess, I told you there's no need to bow to me after every wise decision I make."

It went something like that. And then we had a baby. Everything was easy after that. Ha ha!

Since the last update, Sloane visited grandma and grandpa Weishaar in Perry and Skyped with grandma and grandpa Van De Walle (today, actually). Grandpa V. was apparently hopeful we had taught Sloane "tricks" but unfortunately she disappointed him. So far I am unable to get her to:

1. Hold a golf club properly
2. Speak
3. Stop crying when I clearly and politely ask her
4. Mow the yard
5. Fetch (slippers, drinks, mail, remote, etc.)

We had the pleasure of aunt Alyse's company this weekend while I attended a Louis CK show with Steve and Kate while Jess was stuck here with her weekend class. Thanks for babysitting Alyse! And thanks to Kate's parents for their wonderful hospitality.

We're currently working on sleeping through the night, which works approximately 3/7 times. Like the Twins, her batting average must increase in order to please her lifetime ticket holders. Tips are most welcome.

Thursday is "BS Day" (Baby Sitter Day), an appropriate moniker for this historic and sad day according to Jess (it is BS that she has to go back to work and BS that Sloane can't accompany her). I will be driving her (Sloane) to Storm Lake every day and drop her off at the sitter's (both of us are really excited with Sloane meeting Nichol, one of my college advisors who rocks more than watching Ironman with Abraham Lincoln). I'm sure our morning routine will be rocked a bit until we establish a new one. Wish us luck.

All three of us look forward to next weekend when Sloane meets great grandma Jackie as well as aunt Pat and aunt Carol! Then at the end of the month we found out we may have another visit from grandma and grandpa V and hopefully soon great grandma and grandpa Yanecek! (sorry grandpa, she's already a Hawkeye fan. When I accidentally flipped to a Cyclone football game she expressed her displeasure in a most violent and smelly way. Yes, I did teach her that).

And now for some more photos!

Mar Mar with Sloane in duck pajamas (not made from real ducks) 

Sloane extra comfy with grandpa Weishaar

The naked baby photo!

Naked baby!

Jess is telling me it's not a "butt." It's a "fanny." (She's getting some chunky legs. Again, I'm talking about Sloane. This needs to be clear.)

Duck PJs! I gotta get some of those.

Sloane's favorite place. 

Aunt Annie feeding Sloane. 

Oh, and we just got a new Flip camera-like device for quickly and easily recording/posting video. I'm just experimenting but it looks pretty good. These videos aren't all that exciting, unfortunately. I need to hire Michael Bay to add some Transformers and explosions. Anyway, enjoy the moving pictures.

Oh man, I'm way late

It's been brought to my attention that I'm sucking at the updating of the blog situation. So it's high time I fill you in. We'll flash backwards several weeks.

The time was August 2010. President Barak Obama was President. Gas was $2.65, The Last Exorcism grabbed an estimated $9.4 million at the box office. These were simpler times.  Below is a photo summary of what has transpired with Sloane in the recent weeks.

First "walk." She rode the ENTIRE way. Slacker. 

First friend visit (Jac!). Sloane is doing an interpretive dance of the moment.

First time meeting her BFF, Lea Sand (big Godfather movie fan). FYI: Lea wanted to do shots all night. Sloane can't handle her milk as well as Lea can. Passed out almost immediately. I can chug 12 oz of milk in one setting. Basically what I'm saying is you all should be impressed.

First bath. Not all parents bathe their children next to a stove and set of knives. It just goes to show you how tough and hard we are. I bet she grows up to be a test pilot. Or professional BASE jumper. However this assumes I allow her to grow up.

Random photos!!! (more can be found on our Flickr)

No more photos, please.

Ready? 1-2-3...Awwwwwwww

One month old and chill-axin'. "This is the life." Some of us have responsibilities you know. You don't have to flaunt your laziness all the time. 

"Helloooo everybody! Do you think this jar of sugar behind me is higher or lower than $2? If you guess correctly you could be headed to the showcase showdown." 

Sloane enjoys bath time. She's starting to smile and it's not just some weird facial spasm. It's awesome. She just needs to do it more when looking at me. 

Photo by Jess. Quilt by Grandma V. Lighting by Jesus.

You be the judge

So we got ahold of our baby photos from way back then. I'm accepting the fact that Sloane is going to look like Jess. I've already heard it. But I'll leave it to you people to decide. I certainly can't tell who she looks like (or what parts of each of us she has). To me, she just looks like a baby -- anyone's baby. 

Have at it!

Kelly the Prodigy (prodigy of what still being determined) 

Sloane the Cute ("Where's the pudding?!")

Jess the Fierce (perfecting the "Kelly, seriously, what are you doing?" scowl) 

Grandparents, pee attacks and photo ops

Last week was my first back to work and I have to say I was NOT ready to leave my girls. Jess handled it like a rock star mom. Every day it got slightly easier, however I don't know if that's a good thing or not.

Sloane is largely unchanged, though Jess thinks her face is filling out. Sloane hasn't taken this insult lightly and has has started spitting up and pawing at her face in obvious disgust with the way she's letting herself go. We had our one-week checkup and I have to say I'm proud of Sloane. She takes coaching well and successfully peed all over the nurse and scale (another shot at her alleged weight gain).  Everything checked out well, although she was measured at 1/2" shorter than she was at birth. With her shrinking, sleeping all day, and, frankly, chronic addiction to milk I can only draw one conclusion: Sloane is turning into a cat.

In other news, at the end of this week Sloane was visited by Ginja (Grandma) and Skipper (Grandpa) Van De Walle. Grandma Myrna unveiled her grand Baby Quilt which can probably double as a rain tarp over Target field should the need arise.  Sloane showed her appreciation by sleeping. Grandpa Kirk, not to be outdone, came bearing your traditional new baby gifts: a hacksaw and beer (okay, both were for me).  Sloane showed her appreciation by sleeping. But we want to thank both for driving all the way up from Arkansas! It was a lot of fun.

Photos!

Sloane being defiant with grandma

Smiley grandma and Sloane doing her best "Popeye"

Sloane giving her best "WTF?" look at grandpa. Most people look at him this way though.

To recoup some of the costs of raising a child I'm considering charging people $5 to hold her and $25 if they want their photo taken. Had I done this at the hospital I'd be up a few thousand dollars already.

Bonus photo! Post-bath with the curly hair. That's Jess' leg on the left. Just kidding.

It begins

B-day + 4 "The Homestead" 
---

Well, we're back home and the first few nights are in the bag. A big thanks to grandma Weishaar for...freaking EVERYTHING. She stayed with us for a few days and made the transition go SO much smoother. She worked so hard to make things as stress-free as possible while allowing dad and mom to sleep. She cooked, she cleaned, she held Sloane (though who wouldn't want to do that), she offered advice, she hugged, she changed diapers...personally, I think she's part robot.

Jess is doing well and I'm trying my best to pick up where grandma left off. Being 0% robot means I have to work 156% harder. But that's okay. As long as everybody is happy. We're hoping to take Sloane out for her first "walk" soon, though she'll probably slack and expect us to push her in a stroller. Maybe I can scrunch up next to her and Jess can push us both.

We also had a visit from a nurse yesterday (standard procedure) and we passed (whew!). Sloane was an ounce above the weight she left the hospital, so she's going the right direction even if sometimes she'd rather sleep than eat (hard to blame her, really). I'm getting to the point where I'd prefer to be fed in a similar fashion but the suggestion fell on deaf ears. Babies have it made, man.

We're currently trying to figure out what to have Sloane call the grandparents. After an internet search, here are some of my favorites:

Grandmother:

-Bubbie (very Jerry Maguire)
-G-Ma (very hip. "Sup G-Ma? Word.")
-Mimsy
-Mums
-Mimo (rhymes with "Nemo" which is the name of a very famous animated fish)
-NotherMother (like "another mother." On second thought, that's weird)
-Salsa (delicious)
-Ginja (grandma-ninja? Awesome.)

Grandfather: 

-BoBo
-Drampa (sounds like the name of a brand of scotch or antihistamine)
-Gwampa (both fun to say out loud and reminiscent of the name of Hagrid's half-brother giant in Harry Potter)
-PamPawPap (ridiculous)
-PawPaw (cute cute)
-G ("Ain't nothing but a G-thang baby"  <---rap)
-Popsi
-Mellowman (Mega Man villain? <----video game reference)
-Poppers (Not bad, but I'd prefer Poppers!!)
-MoreDaddy (because it'd be fun to say in public: "Come on, Sloane, let's go see MoreDaddy" and watch people's reactions)
-P-Pop/PopZ (if either is thinking about joining a hip-hop label)
-Skipper (I think we have a winner)

As for me, I'm considering going with: Chancellor, as I enjoy the power such a title suggests. I suppose I'd be okay with "father" but only if it's said with a British accent.

Okay, I've rambled on long enough. Now for your fix of cute:

Sloane Rae Van De Walle: veteran sleeper

Sleeping again? Really?

Stop the presses! We have eyes! Quick! Somebody blow the Vikings touchdown horn.

Oh nuts. Asleep again. But one of those "awwwww" moments so we'll let this one slide. 

Once again, more photos can be found on our Flickr account: http://www.flickr.com/photos/castle_vandewalle/